stuck

Sometimes in life you feel like you're going nowhere. Like your life is stuck in pause and you are ready for someone to push play. That's me. I'm in pause mode and i guess i'm okay with that. I think it's helping to give me the chance to help others and to realize that i shouldn't just think of myself, that there are others out there that have it worse than me and that i should be thankful for everyday that i have, being healthy, vibrant, full of life, a loving family, wonderful friends, and a place to call home. I've grown a lot closer to the man above these past few years. He's been there for me when i thought no one was. He's shown me a different side to things that i though were one-sided. Sometimes when i feel as though i will get nowhere in school and will NEVER graduate and be independent i keep hearing him in the back of my mind saying it's going to be okay, just slow down and enjoy every second of it, even if it is stressful and hard. I think of other people who are fighting for their lives, or their families, and what their going through. And it makes me think that if someone has the power to live and get better and stronger then i should be able to pass a class that i have deemed impossible the second i walked through the door. I guess i should believe in myself more just as my mom does. Now her right there she's something else. I mean God could of only made her for me. Her strength, i mean c'mon who can work 3 jobs, have a full time job, be a full time mom, and still make time to cook dinner, and support me the way noone else could....my mom she's not human sometimes i think :). I think God spent some extra time when making her. Piecing her together just right so that under the hardest decision, the roughest times, she wouldn't fall apart. She has will and strength and love like no other. So even though i feel like my life is "stuck" and in pause right now, i know someday it won't be and that when i do finally reach where i'm going i will have my angel- my mom- there supporting me and loving me, and all those people that were hurting, well they will be better- either in heaven with the man above, or with their families, either way those people and my mom are the ones who give me my strength and drive to get to where i know i'm meant to be.